Thursday, April 22, 2010

Coda: I'm a Lot Stupider Than I Look!

Now, there's a statement to elicit broad general agreement!

In the correlation isn't causation department, I just discovered that the basement sink drain isn't even connected to the sanitary drain. Honest it wasn't me, but somebody must have removed the trap to clean it out and put it back, quite literally, backwards. I think that was from way back when the standpipe hat rotted out, which I discovered once when my daughter was taking a shower and the water was draining into the basement.

But, in my defense here, I've only been doing laundry in this apartment since I moved out of my house in December, and a lot of that time I've been away dealing with various pneumatic issues. I'd thought that all that water was because the basement leaked, since it was correlated with wet weather. Of course, looking back I realize that I was generally doing laundry when the weather wasn't nice enough to go outside (today is an exception, simply because I ran out of socks and underwear, which I'll just bet is too much information).

Then the other day I thought my coffee ginder switch was going bad. My testing pretty much proved that since when I knocked the grinder it would go back on. Well, I discovered that the shock waves were travelling up the power cord to the outlet where the plug was loose. Glad I didn't move to take that thing apart, which would be typical of me.

This stuff happens all the time, and not just to me, I'll bet. The only thing which correlates the non-causally related stuff going on around me is my mind, which is implicated. It's tricky to know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em and when to interfere and when to leave well enough alone and when to call in the experts. A lot of the time, I am the expert, like with computer networks, and then it's especially hard to convince people that I'm stupider than I look, because it seems that everyone wants to be the stupidest when it comes to computer networks, unless they make their living that way, in which case they just want a perpetual emergency.

But I knew you'd want to know about each and every plumbing victory. Now I have to go roto-root my car's core, just to give the old girl a few more miles of life. In this case, the experts simply cost more than the car is worth, and so the math is simple.

But I didn't want anyone thinking that I was mistaking correlation, which is only in my head, with causation, which is real. Well, except for the part where I act on what's in my head. And if I start laughing when I'm the only one who thinks any of this is remotely funny.

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